


Secrets of the Scientist

by kaia_witte17



Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Kidnapping, Love Triangles, Mind Control, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaia_witte17/pseuds/kaia_witte17
Summary: Y/N lives in New York and is a prominent medical researcher and is deemed one of the best neuroscience researchers in modern times. It quickly crumbles after Y/N is kidnapped by HYDRA and used for her medical knowledge and intellect to create better engineered super soldiers to rebuild HYDRA after its fall. After a few years as a tortured HYDRA scientist and captive Y/N finally is rescued from the ice by The Avengers on their last mission to dismantle HYDRA once and for all. After the Avengers take you in, Loki becomes entranced in the unreadable mystery of the smartest woman of the century who emerged from the ice, and Bucky only has one memory of you but you don't remember him.Some things were never meant to be uncovered.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Stephen Strange/Reader, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	1. The Beginning

New York was just beginning to wake up. City noises crept through your penthouse windows high above the street in Madison Square Park. You were standing near the glass railing overlooking the lower floor of your penthouse, and taking in the view of the City. Orange sunlight seeped in covering the furnishings in a golden glow. Everything looked more beautiful in the light of early morning. You’ve learned to appreciate that the rising sun shattered the darkness of the night. You could only think of how beautiful the city looked as you sipped your morning coffee. After finishing your coffee cup and setting it in the sink along with the other dirty dishes that were slowly overflowing the sink, you walked up the stairs to get ready. You combed out Y/C/H and let it flow loosely over your shoulders. Next, you chose a tight black turtleneck knit sweater, a grey blazer and the matching grey dress pants to wear to work. Quickly slipping on your long black coat and black boots, you made your way to the ground floor of the building where your chauffeur was waiting outside. 

You were headed to Metro General Hospital in Midtown to check up on your long time friend, Stephen Strange. You were lost in the thought of seeing Stephen for the first time in a while, remembering how you two first became colleagues and friends. 

Strange became a close friend after you and him worked on a patient together. You had been called in for a second opinion on the case because of its severity. The tumor was deep inside the brain, you only recommended removing it partially. It was too risky for a whole removal. After insisting that Strange doesn't attempt the surgery, because one twitch or wrong move would land the patient dead. Stephen performed and removed the entire tumor despite your advice. After his successful surgery, you quickly became very close friends only after dealing him a punishment for his erratic and idiotic behaviors. 

You stepped outside the building into the street and saw a man in a black suit standing by the curb holding up a sign with your name written on it. As you approached the car you quickly realized the man holding the sign wasn’t your usual driver, Danny. Getting closer you began to question the man, “Where is Danny? He didn’t call me and tell me he was–” only to be cut off as the car doors opened to reveal two large men sitting in the back seat.

The two large men moved with precisioned speed and before you could even react, they violently grabbed you by the wrists and hair, pulling you into the backseat of the car. Before a scream could escape your lips or a fight could be had, one of the men tightly held a damp cloth over your nose and mouth. Panic flowed through your veins, your mind raced over a million scenarios.  
Who were these men?  
Who do they work for?  
Do they _know_?  
You met the gaze of the man as he held the cloth over your mouth and nose, his face completely devoid of emotion. His cold stare boring into you was the last thing you saw before succumbing to the darkness. 

The door to the car slammed shut and your unconscious body was placed into the backseat. The men buckled you in and then merged into traffic completely unnoticed. They took you before anyone had a chance to see, no witnesses  
.  
Gasping, you awoke on the floor of a dark concrete room. Your head was pounding with what felt like a severe concussion, and as you tried to reach up to rub your temples, you quickly realized your hands were bound tightly behind your back. The ropes dug into your skin, breaking the flesh as you tried to pry them free. The attempt was futile. The room was small and completely empty. The only thing was the steel door across the room with a small window at eye level. The window let in a dismal amount of light, only enough to let you see the shadows of the walls around you. After scanning the room, a lump quickly formed in your throat. Tears threatened to break through. But you were determined not to cry, to not let them know you were not afraid, and they weren’t gonna get the satisfaction of breaking you that easily. In an attempt to calm down, you rested your head on the cool cement, letting the icy feeling spread through your cheek. 

After it felt like hours of lying motionless on the floor thinking of where you could possibly be and what happened to every precaution you took, you began to feel the vibrations of footsteps through the cement, and hear the rhythmic clunk of boots off in the distance. The footsteps stopped outside the door and you heard murmurs of men outside the room followed by keys clanging together. A key was put into the door and a flood of white light rushed into the room as the door was opened, causing you to squint as you looked up at the men that just entered. 

One man wore a white laboratory coat with two other men wearing riot gear flanked behind him holding batons and tasers. The man in the white coat squatted down to the floor to be closer to you as you lie motionless in front of him. You could hear the blood rapidly beating through your temple. Your heart was beating as fast as it could, waiting to see what would happen next. But you didn’t want to find out what happened next, you needed to run, to get out of this room, to escape. The man got closer and the all too familiar smell of mildew and rot rolled off of him in waves, creating a nauseating stomach turn. You tried to roll away but it was useless as the ropes were not budging behind you. The man chuckled as you failed to get away. Your panic only deepend. He reached out his hand and gripped your arm tightly, holding you still. He looked down on you to meet your gaze. His eyes devoid of any emotion other than satisfaction. While staring deep into your eyes, he said with an icy tone, 

“Welcome back to HYDRA. We have been looking for you for a _long_ time Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! This is my first reader-insert fic, let me know what you think in the comments! First few chapters are going to be plot set-up.


	2. Inception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out more about your past with HYDRA.

HYDRA. 

You could not believe you were back. This was _impossible_. You had hid yourself from them for decades, changing identities multiple times and never staying in the same place for too long. Maybe making a name for yourself in New York was the wrong thing to do. You couldn’t remember much of anything from your time spent at HYDRA other than your escape. HYDRA was supposed to be gone, destroyed at the end of the second World War. 

Sobs racked your chest and tears fell from your eyes blurring your vision as the scientist walked out of the room and the two men in riot gear picked you up. You kicked, fighting with every ounce of energy you had left hoping maybe you could get loose and escape and go back home. 

Instead, one of the men flicked his wrist, releasing the entire length of the baton from his hand. In an instant he swung and hit your back with the baton, causing you to scream even more. The pain seared down your back into your legs making them feel numb. He lifted the baton again and this time standing above your crumpled figure, swung directly down on your head. Knocking you unconscious once again. 

The men dragged your lifeless body down a narrow hallway towards the main room, leaving a trail of blood that dripped from your head and back. In the center was one chair surrounded by machines. The room was circular and had viewing windows on all the walls. HYDRA scientists stood around, some watching the men drag in a lifeless body and some not even paying them any mind. They heaved your body onto the chair, strapping in your arms and legs, and securing you by your head and chest so you didn’t slouch over. 

The scientist walked into the room, he pulled a vial of blue liquid out of his coat pocket along with a needle. He drew the blue substance into the needle, flicking the needle to get the air out. He looked around the room and said, “Everyone at their stations, and be ready to start your tests once she wakes”. 

Everyone who wasn't in riot gear went behind the glass walls and began preparing for when you woke.

The scientist looked at your limp body with no sympathy as he pricked your arm with the needle and pushed in the medication. 

You couldn’t open your eyes yet, but you could feel the stimulants coursing through your veins, your body tensed and felt prepared for anything. You could hear a distant voice calling out to you, “Y/N, Y/N can you hear me?” it was getting louder and then the voice said,

“Soldier wake up, it's time.” 

You heard the command and something within you instantly complied. Forcing your eyes open to the harsh bright lights around you. You saw the same man from earlier standing in front of you smiling. 

“Good morning soldier” 

You replied instantly, “Ready to Co–” you stopped yourself, the force of the drug not strong enough to make you compliant as you started to remember what had happened just a few hours before. You had to fight, you would not comply. The feeling of hope crossed your mind and just as it did, one of the men in riot gear hit you across the face. Then the man in front of you injected your arm with another needle. 

Your train of thought was interrupted, you couldn’t remember what you were just thinking. Everything was forgotten in that moment except only that you needed to comply, so you did. 

“Ready to comply.” 

“Good, let’s get started.” 

One year and 3 months had already passed since you were kidnapped from your home in New York. Everyday since then you compiled but there was always something trapped in the back of your mind. Run. Escape. But the voice was always silenced before you could act on it. 

HYDRA had needed you again but instead of fighting, they needed you to create a new compound for the newest generation of super soldiers. Your advanced knowledge of the brain and years of medical practice helped you create the newest perfect serum for them that was unmatched to previous forms of mind control. 

The serum allowed for complete memory loss along with controlling the parts of the brain that involved strong feelings of emotion. It targeted specific areas in the brain completely neutralizing them. You helped create dozens of new soldiers, each more empty and more ready to comply than the last. 

That was until one night. 

You were doing research in the old HYDRA files about the previous serums to gain more information. Flipping through a file marked, “WINTER SOLDIER”. The first page had pictures, all showing the same man, with long brown hair, and a metal arm. 

The second you saw those pictures. Your head started to ache, growing more painful by the minute. 

Who was he? 

Memories of a man with long brown hair, a black mask, a red star, and a metal arm swamped your mind. Your head burned. Searing pain split from your head to your eyes. You gripped the desk with your hand to stabilize yourself. Growing more weary by the minute. Then it hit you. 

Bucky. 

_You were wearing a black bodysuit. Your hair was tucked underneath the hood of your suit and next to you stood the Winter Soldier._

_This was the last time you went on a mission with him._

_You were both standing on a rooftop overlooking the glowing city of Budapest. The Winter Soldier knelt down beside you and took off his backpack. He pulled out his rifle and started loading it. Then he got into position and you did the same. You were supposed to retrieve the body once the Soldier shot the target. You jumped from the 4 story building to the ground level. The vibranium bones in your legs took the jump easily._

_You dashed between buildings, using the shadows of the night to your advantage and once you were in position, you heard a pop and then a thump. You swung around the corner of the building you were waiting behind and grabbed the man lying with a fresh gunshot wound in his chest by his feet and dragged him to the designated drop point behind the building._

_Mission accomplished._

_You met the Winter Soldier at the rendezvous point. The Soldier looked wary, the person he was before was breaking through. He was not the man who just assassinated someone. There was this sadness in his eyes. The kind you sometimes see in those who just want to die, but life won’t let them. The Soldier broke the silence and said, “Y/N,–” but cut the rest of his sentence off. You looked at him quizzically and wondered what he could have possibly wanted to say. He dropped eye contact and his demeanor changed back into the Soldier. Then he immediately got on the motorcycle and you did too._

_Then, you both took off towards the nearest HYDRA base._

_This was the last time you saw the Winter Soldier. You could never forget those sad blue eyes, they wanted to tell you something, but what?_

Your head still pounded, your heart was racing. Panting and struggling not to throw up from the nauseating pain in your head, you couldn’t believe what you just remembered. How could you forget? What else did you do that they erased from your memory? What happened to Bucky?  
Who were you? 

All you knew now though was that you needed to escape and fast. You couldn't be HYDRA’s puppet any longer. 

Before you left the file room, you quickly looked around for your own file. You rapidly flipped through the cabinets of manila folders, scanning for your name or anything that could indicate that it was yours. 

_Inception_

Once you saw that name, every terrible memory associated with it came back. 

To HYDRA you were supposed to be the beginning of a new era of super soldier. Something unstoppable, even better than their prized possession, the Winter Soldier. You were one of a kind, more precious than anything they ever created. They made you but they lost the most important thing they needed to make other soldiers like you. The Soul Stone.

You had spent endless hours on an operating table. At first, they cut every piece of you open and replaced you with something newer and stronger. Pain seared through your vibranium bones, day after day. HYDRA made you unbreakable. The vibranium girl, made of the strongest material on Earth. An unstoppable force that would shape the century alongside the Winter Soldier. 

Once HYDRA got their hands on the soul stone, they immediately started harassing its power of life into you. They channeled the energy to create you, Inception. The beginning of their control of the world and it all started with you. They gave you the power to control other people. You could steal their life from them and use their soul to increase your lifespan. As long as you killed, you were eternal.

Everything about you was perfect, except HYDRA couldn’t control your mind after the Soul Stone. No matter how often they wiped your memory, you always eventually broke free of their grip. And everytime you did, they cut a little deeper and took more of you away to replace. Until they couldn’t handle you anymore and you became too powerful for them, so they put you on ice for the first time.


	3. Back in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into events in New York after your disappearance

Doctor Strange was sitting in his office getting worried. It was past 5:00pm and you were supposed to meet him this morning to talk about new experimental treatments for patients and then get lunch together in the city. 

The Y/N he knew would never stand anyone up, especially not him. You and him have formed a special bond together over the years you have worked together. It started off as a friendly rivalry between two of the best neuroscience doctors in New York, but transformed into you and him collaborating on groundbreaking research papers and getting coffee in the middle of the night to finish research together. 

Your success was no surprise to Doctor Strange. He always had joked with you that you seemed to have an understanding of things that no 25 year-old should know. You were brilliant in everything you did. You were the perfect colleague and no matter how successful you had got, you always stayed to your roots. Visiting the hospital he worked at whenever you could and giving everyone your respect and full attention. 

But today felt off to him. He knew something wasn’t right when you didn’t show up to the hospital. He tried calling your mobile multiple times, leaving voicemails each one being more worried than the last. Doctor Strange tried calling one last time before he left the hospital to head over to your penthouse to check if everything was okay. 

All he got was your voicemail, “This is Doctor Y/F/N Y/L/N, I am currently away and cannot answer your call, either me or my assistant will be in touch with you shortly.” 

Stephen left one last voicemail, “It’s me calling again. Please call or text me back Y/N. I am getting super worried about you and this doesn’t feel right. Please Y/N call me back as soon as you can,” and with that he hung up the phone and left his office to go and get his car from the garage. He drove off in a hurry, trying to make it to your place as quickly as possible. He swerved in and out of traffic until he finally pulled up to your building in Madison Square Park. 

He got out and went straight up to your floor using the key you had given him a while back. His heart raced, preparing him for what he could possibly see when he entered your penthouse, but when the elevator doors slid open, he saw nothing. The living room was empty. The kitchen had a pile of dirty dishes and everything looked perfectly normal. He walked slowly around your place looking everywhere for any sign of you but you were nowhere. 

He couldn’t help but think to contact your assistant, even though she was on vacation to see if she knew where you were. 

He dialed your assistants number, listening to it ring and ring until she finally picked up.

“Hey Val, it's Doctor Strange. I’m sorry to bother you but do you happen to know where Y/N is? She didn’t show up for our meeting today and hasn’t been answering any of my calls and I’m getting worried.” 

Val replied, “She didn’t say anything about going anywhere to me, you know as much as I do. If she isn’t answering, then I don’t know what to do. But I am sure everything is fine,”

“Okay, I’m in her place right now and nothing looks out of the ordinary, maybe she will call by morning, but if you hear from her at all can you give me a call?” 

“I definitely can, I'll let you know anything as soon as I do.”

“Thank you Val.” Doctor Strange hung up the phone in a panic, everything was getting worse by the minute. His heart was racing and every possibility of what could have happened to you raced through his head. Kidnapping? Torture? Ransom? 

He couldn’t think of anything to do other than to go home and wait for a call and if by morning he didn’t hear from you, he would notify the NYPD. 

That night Stephen tossed and turned all night, constantly checking his phone for a message or call that never showed. The next morning he notified the police of your disappearance and they said they’d start investigating.

Weeks had passed and no word was heard for you. The news got a hold of the story a few days after your disappearance. They released the CCTV footage of you walking out of your building that morning of your disappearance and then the tape cut out right as you stepped onto the sidewalk. No one had seen you since that morning. No new leads had formed on your disappearance either.

Stephen was relentless in his search for you, even the slightest tip from the police he followed up on. But nothing had come back. With each passing day Doctor Strange became more and more worried, the more days you were gone meant a greater chance of you never coming back. His heart sank deeper every time your picture flashed on the news with the 5 million dollar reward for your safe return offered by Tony Stark. 

Meanwhile in the Avengers Compound… 

When Tony first heard of Y/N’s disappearance, he didn’t give it a second thought until he realized later that you were one of the largest donors for Stark Industries. Tony always wondered how such a young woman was so successful.  
How did this girl make her fortune? 

After endless nights of research, Tony learned everything there was to seemingly know about the girl that disappeared. 

You had gotten into medical school before you even graduated high school and graduated medical school as one of the youngest students ever. You were a perfect student and there wasn’t even as much as a smudge on your record. You started researching the brain during your residency and quickly rose to the top of your field, quickly creating a name for yourself.  
Tony couldn’t believe the achievements you had accomplished in such a short amount of time. 

But no matter how deep FRIDAY and him looked into your past they could not find any information about your parents or upbringing. Your life seemingly officially started by you beginning high school. 

Tony eventually decided to offer a reward for your return, in the hope of being able to talk to you about your research with you one day. But as each day passed his reward went unclaimed and you were still missing. 

How could she just disappear? 

Tony first brought your name up to the team when he decided to offer a reward for your return. None of them knew your name or anything about you, but sitting in the back on the couch was Bucky. 

Once Tony said your name, a feeling rose inside Bucky. He couldn’t explain why your name made him feel uncomfortable, or why he even recognized it, but Bucky kept it to himself. 

Until one night Bucky woke, covered in sweat with Steve yelling and knocking on his door. 

“Are you alright? Bucky, is everything okay? I heard you down the hall,” Steve said with worry laced in his voice. Steve couldn’t stand to know his friend was in pain and only wanted to help. This was the first nightmare Bucky had in awhile and he couldn’t think of why he started having them again now.

“I’m fine, go back to bed Steve.” Bucky said as he buried his face into his hands. The cool metal of his hand cooling his head. Bucky couldn’t get one moment from his nightmare out of his head. 

_We were just about to get on the motorcycle to go back to HYDRA, I looked into her ice blue eyes, which broke through the Winter Soldier and caused me to break for a moment, “Y/N–,” But I stopped, I couldn’t tell her the truth right now. Her Y/C/H was blowing from under her hood, framing her face in the dark night. She looked angelic, beautiful. She didn’t look like someone who could tear every limb off your body in an instant and not even think twice. Ever since HYDRA took her in, she plagued the back of his mind and no matter how much reconditioning HYDRA put him through, he couldn’t break this feeling he had towards her._

_He would never forget her icy eyes gazing into him after he said her name._

Y/N...the scientist that went missing in New York last week. She was HYDRA, but how was she still alive? 

Bucky paced around his room, trying to piece together the information from his memories and the briefing Tony gave the team about her. Her life seemed completely normal, nothing in her life except the absence of a childhood indicated she was a former HYDRA soldier. 

It couldn’t believe it was her. She was here. In New York. For so long and he only just found out about her. 

Bucky thought about HYDRA and how they could have possibly rebuilt after the team dismantled SHIELD. Bucky’s heart started to race even more. He thought if they turned you again and got control of you, you would be too powerful and HYDRA would have a chance to come back. 

He needed you to come back. Bucky couldn’t live with himself if he knew that HYDRA had you again. Bucky couldn’t handle the thought of you being tortured in the hands of HYDRA again. Bucky was breathing heavy now and was starting to lose control. His chest ached and sadness crept through him. Tears brimmed his eyes, and spilled over onto his cheeks.

Bucky couldn’t keep the sobs in anymore and let himself release his anger and sadness. He instinctively reeled back his metal arm and put it through the sheet rock. Sobs escaped him as he remembered you and everything he did to you. 

After the anger passed, he made a plan to try and find you and bring you back. Bucky told FRIDAY, “When Tony wakes in the morning, notify him that I need to talk to him. It’s important.”

FRIDAY responded, “I will notify Mr. Stark when he wakes up on your request to meet with him.” 

Bucky leaned up against the wall with the new hole punched into it. He slid down the wall and sat against it, cradling his head in his hands trying to control the wave of sadness enveloping him in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and let me know what you think in the comments!!


	4. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N tries to escape the HYDRA facility.

After rediscovering you and Bucky’s HYDRA files, you vowed to yourself never succumb to HYDRA’s mind control again and to escape one final time. You also vowed that you would find Bucky...if he was still out there.

That night you laid in your cell plotting your escape. Your room was small and only had a sleeping mat, metal sink and toilet. The entire room was solid cement and the door was steel with a key and digital combination lock, only openable from the outside. No windows, and no way out except the door.

You weren’t even sure where in the world you were. For all you knew you could still be in New York or in the middle of some forest across the planet. There were no windows in the HYDRA base, but you did know it was underground somewhere. There was only one elevator up to the ground floor, and getting there meant passing almost every security feature in the base and armed guards. 

But you had to try no matter the cost, there was no other way. You couldn’t stand the thought of being stuck here for the rest of your life as a puppet for HYDRA. 

You formulated the best plan you could. Get out the following morning when only one guard comes and opens your door. Then you make a break to the elevator and get as far away as possible. 

The plan sounded easier in your head but you knew your chances of making it out were little to none. The odds were stacked against you, but you were determined nonetheless. 

The night stretched on for what felt like eternity, with every passing moment you grew more anxious and worried about your escape. Sleep never came as you tossed and turned all night. The darkness was never comforting, it always felt like something was hiding in the shadows. Waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment to take you forever. 

Some nights you had wished the darkness would take you. Never having to wake up again, the pain would stop and you’d finally be free from the hell HYDRA created for you. But it never took you. No matter how badly beaten and empty you felt, you always woke up.

You were finally pulled from your thoughts when you heard the faint rhythmic thump of heavy boots down the hallway.

It was time. 

A sudden rush of adrenaline went through you and your stomach turned knowing your impending doom that was coming all too soon. 

The footsteps stopped outside your cell door and the keys clicked together as the guard put the key in the door and entered the code. 

You were at the door in an instant, waiting silently as the door slowly opened. 

The guard stepped in, expecting you to be in the back of the room as usual, but instead you were standing near the door. In the moment of confusion, you struck. 

Something instantly clicked inside of you, you dropped to the floor planting one hand and then swinging one of your legs into the back of the guards knees, making him crumple to the floor. 

But the guard stood up faster than you expected, and he immediately reached for his baton in his waistband. Before he could reach it, you grabbed his arm twisting it 360 degrees. Hearing a distinctive pop in his shoulder as it popped out of its socket. Gripping his dislocated shoulder, you dig your thumb into it causing the guard to yell out in pain while you simultaneously grab the baton from his belt.

With the flick of your wrist the baton extended and you swung it towards his head with more force than you thought you possessed. 

The baton shattered the guards helmet and cracked his skull. An echoing crunch went through the room while sending a spray of blood across your face and the walls behind you. The guard’s screams fell silent and he instantly went limp under your grip, falling to the floor with a thud.

Seeing the guard crumpled at your feet, sends a second wave of adrenaline through your body. 

You stare at him a second longer, confused over what strength you suddenly possessed. 

How did you do that? Your body moved faster than your mind and before you even knew what you were doing it was already done. You still had your HYDRA powers deep within you after all.

You quickly push the thought to the back of your mind and focus on the task at hand. You grab the guards gun from his holster and retract the baton in your hand, tucking it safely in the waistband of your pants just in case you need it for later. Finally, ripping the guards security card from his jacket. 

With the gun in your hand, you stick your head out of the door, quickly scanning the hallway before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind you. You make your way down the hallway, mapping out the escape route in your mind. Only a few hallways to go till the elevator. 

You turned down another plain concrete hallway, moving silently and as quick as possible. Before you reach the end, the wall becomes a glass window that peered into the laboratories. You knew they would be full of scientists and guards. 

You reach the window and before passing you glance into the room, trying to be as discreet as possible. The room lab was full. Guards lined the walls, and 5 people in white lab coats stood around an operating table. 

Only the feet were visible to you of the person lying on the operating table. You could only imagine what pain they were feeling as memories flashed in your mind of your own operations. Chills were sent down your back and you pushed the memories away once again. Before you looked away, a guard standing across the room spotted you. 

Lost in your own thoughts you didn’t realize how long you stood there. Too long. 

Blood visible on your face, the guard immediately knew your intentions. He instantly started yelling commands and pointing towards the window, sending every face in the room looking in your direction. 

Time froze around you. Fear engulfed your body and panic overcame the logic of running, paralyzing you in place. The guards began running in the room, making their way to the door of the laboratory. 

Finally you felt your body free, letting muscle memory take over for you, you took off down the hall. Your feet moved faster than ever before. You felt the blood rushing through your body and thought of nothing more than your task at hand. The fear and panic was gone and replaced with a sense of calm and precision. 

You reached the end of the hallway with guards trailing quickly behind you. You turned down and saw the elevator off in the distance. Relief came over you, but it was replaced with panic as 10 guards turned down the hallway blocking your view of the elevator. Their guns were raised, pointing directly at you.

You paused and glanced down at your chest and saw 10 red dots dancing across your chest. 

Trapped. 

Unwilling to give up, you move towards the wall raising the gun you stole and squeeze the trigger, releasing rounds onto the guards causing them to fall one by one. You stepped closer to the guards, feeling a new found hope grow inside your chest as you came one step closer to freedom. 

Then you felt it. A small pinch in your calf. You look down at your leg and see one single dart sunk in the back of your leg. A queasy feeling starts to spread throughout your body. The gun you were holding drops on the floor next to you and you feel the color drain from your face. You look up behind you to where the dart shot from. 

Your eyes are met with more guards standing behind you. You completely had forgotten, too focused on the elevator in front of you, you failed to realize that people were also following you. 

The pain of knowing you failed was written across your face. You slumped to your knees as the feeling in your legs gave out beneath you. You tried to steady yourself, propping your hands in front of you as you breathed heavily trying to push the growing feeling of numbness away. Stars began to speckle your vision and your arms gave way underneath you. 

Your head thudded to the cement, cracking your head causing blood to seep from your head onto the floor. You felt the cool cement on your cheek and the warm wetness growing in your hair as footsteps closed in around you. 

As you were yanked from off the ground, your vision finally went dark. You allowed the darkness to engulf you, hoping it finally took you from this world forever as they dragged your limp body down the hall. 

You awoke to bright lights hovering over you, you squinted as you forced your eyes open only to see a shadow of a figure above you surrounded by a blinding white light. 

Trying to move your arms you realized, your arms were strapped down to the table along with the rest of your body. Then the figure above you moved, pushing a metal piece onto your forehead. You recognized that cold feeling. 

They were going to wipe you. 

HYDRA hadn’t dared wipe your memory since you came back because they couldn’t risk you losing any of your knowledge that they needed you to have in order to make their new super soldier serum. 

It took months to piece together seconds of your past life after they wiped you last time. But this time you weren’t afraid. You had nothing more to lose. Your life was gone, years of working for everything you had was going to be taken away and this time there was nothing you could do to stop it. 

Lost in thought you heard a distant voice say, “Ready. 3...2…” 

Pain seared down your spine. You felt your mind being torn apart piece by piece and destroyed. Your memories flashed in front of your eyes before they fizzled into nothing and were gone forever.

Bucky. His long hair, his metal arm, and those eyes. The only thing you wished to remember was his perfect blue eyes, and the softness they held in them as he said your name the last night you saw him.

“Y/N…” His voice echoed in your head for the last time as the pain overcame you. 

You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you screamed out in agonizing pain. 

“Buc–” last word tried to escape your lips before your mind was swept clean.Before you could finish, the pain tearing through your mind seized and you forgot what you were even saying. 

You opened your eyes to the blinding white lights again. 

Where were you? 

_Who_ were you? 

“She’s ready. Time to put her on ice.” The man in the white lab coat said to another person in front of you. 

They unstrapped you, and dragged you down the hall. You didn’t resist. You didn’t know where you were going, and you didn’t care to know. Nothing felt important to you. 

You finally stood up inside a cool chamber, as the men closed and locked the door. Trapping you inside. 

You put your hand up to the glass, as freezing air flooded the chamber. One hand pressed against the glass and an empty gaze behind your eyes, you froze in time. Letting the cold and dark take you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Background character building is over and next chapter we finally get to see the characters reunited. Thank you for reading!! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	5. A New Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally gets the lead they've been waiting for.

Bucky was making his way to Tony’s lab, after FRIDAY informed him Tony was finally ready to have their meeting. He quickened his pace to the lab, anxious to tell Tony what he remembered from his nightmare that night. He could only hope that Tony would believe and trust him enough to start looking for you. 

Bucky reached the door to Tony’s office, took a deep breath and then knocked. Tony immediately said, “Stop loitering. Just come in.”

Bucky hesitantly opened the door to see Tony fiddling with something on his desk. Bucky couldn’t help but notice multiple pictures of you scattered across his desk and stacks of papers that were highlighted with scribbled notes all over them. Bucky could only think that Tony was researching you and everything you had done. Maybe Tony would eventually tell you more about her. 

Bucky sat across from Tony and immediately started going on a nervous ramble, “Last night I had a nightmare. It was about the girl, Y/N, the one you mentioned to the team yesterday,” Bucky gestured to one of the pictures of you wearing a suit holding an award and smiling next to another man on his desk. 

Tony quickly started pressing Bucky for answers, “What? Do you know her?” 

“I think I knew her. She worked for HYDRA from the 50s to 70s, she was another soldier like me. HYDRA must have found her and taken her again.” 

Tony laughed, “Your kidding me right? This girl doesn’t look a day over 25. She can’t possibly be over 80 years old.” 

“It’s her. I know it is. We worked together. I knew her name, Y/N. I can’t explain how it could possibly be her, it could be a result of a HYDRA experiment but I _know_ it’s her.” 

“How can you be so certain?” Bucky knew Tony didn’t trust him.

“My nightmares sometimes they’re my memories coming back. After you said her name yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel like I knew her name from somewhere, I just couldn’t place it till last night,” Bucky sighed, he could only hope Tony understood. 

Tony sat back in his chair, thinking. Then he finally said, “If you're so certain she worked for HYDRA, how do you know she didn’t just go back to them after all this time to help them?” 

“I just have a feeling, I knew her, she wouldn’t go back there no matter what. Why would she leave her life here for HYDRA?” Bucky was certain she didn’t go back willingly, you couldn’t have possibly done that. 

“So what are you suggesting now Barnes.” Tony waved his hands in front of his desk at all the pictures and papers. 

“We need to find where HYDRA has rebuilt. She has to be in a HYDRA base somewhere.” 

Tony leaned forward and said with a hint of annoyance, “And where in the world are you suggesting we look? For all we knew up until this moment, HYDRA has been dismantled. We have no leads or any hint of activity from them.” 

Bucky thought for a second and replied, “HYDRA tends to use their old abandoned facilities to rebuild sometimes. We need to start monitoring those facilities again for any new leads. It’s the only way we are going to be able to get close to finding her.” 

“You know I don’t trust you completely Barnes. Not after what you did.” Tony paused, trying to control the anger bubbling inside him, “But I want to find Y/N as much as you do, so I’m willing to trust you on this. We will start monitoring HYDRA outposts for potential activity.” Tony then waved Bucky out of the room. Spinning back in his chair around back towards blueprints he’d been working on. 

Bucky couldn’t help say before he left, “Thank you Tony.” Then he got up and walked out. 

It had been over two years and The Avengers had only found and infiltrated 3 HYDRA bases that showed new activity. Each mission was more desperate than the last. Bucky grew more anxious every time a new lead led to a dead end and Tony couldn’t help but feel more and more defeated when the searches uncovered zero traces of you. 

FRIDAY had been monitoring all the bases simultaneously, notifying the team of any new activity. One night FRIDAY finally got another tip off. A freighter boat was off course and headed towards what looked like an abandoned island in the northern Atlantic, a few hundred miles off the shore of Greenland. The freighter was supposed to be heading towards New York port, but headed off track at the last minute and then silenced all radioactivity in an attempt to prevent any tracing. 

FRIDAY notified Tony immediately and within ten minutes the team was on the quinjet, heading towards the abandoned island. 

Bucky’s heart was racing the whole jet ride. He had a feeling about this mission. He could only hope that they would find you alive, and most importantly on the right side. Over the last year the good information had dwindled and left Bucky feeling hopeless. So far every search was more unsuccessful than the last. 

Steve could feel Bucky’s frustration rolling off of him in waves. He leaned in towards Bucky, patting him on the back and saying, “I have a feeling we will find her here Buck, just remember she might not know you after all this time, but she’ll come around.” 

Bucky could only hope you did, “I know, we just need to find her this time.” 

He looked up at Steve, and Steve could see the pain written across his features. Bucky had been having more and more nightmares in the past year. Mostly about you. Everything he remembered was more terrible than the last.

The quinjet hovered over the spot where the freighter was docked in the port of the small island. The only building was tiny, and he could only hope that you were down there somewhere. 

What the team discovered on the island was unimaginable. Underneath the building were multiple levels of HYDRA labs and holding cells. Each level they searched, no one found anything other than super soldiers, handlers and guards. No sign of you. 

They finally reached the bottom level and there was one last laboratory with a steel door bolted shut. This was their last chance. 

Bucky wasn’t feeling well by the time they got to the bottom level, the laboratories and fighting brought back memories he wished he could forget. But he pushed forward, in hope of finding you. 

Tony blasted the last door of its hinges and inside they found HYDRA’s cryo freeze chambers. 

Rows of chambers were full of people and Bucky could only hope you were in one of them. 

Everyone started searching for you, checking every chamber. 

Finally Natasha found something, a woman with her hand pressed against the glass. The woman behind the glass matched the pictures and description of you almost perfectly. “Guys you better come and see this,” Natasha yelled. 

Instantly Bucky was sprinting over to where Natasha was, hope growing in his chest. Tony flew over there and looked inside the chamber. 

It was you. A pained expression was written across Tony’s face when he finally got a good look at you, frozen perfectly in place. You looked as youthful as ever, even in the ice. 

Bucky got there a second later, first making eye contact with Tony. He saw his pained expression and immediately looked inside the chamber. 

It was _you_. Y/N. They had finally found you. Relief flooded through him and tears began to brim his eyes, threatening to spill over. 

He placed his hand over the glass overlapping yours. Your hand could have fit inside his palm, you were small, but he knew better than to underestimate your power. 

Steve went to stand behind Bucky and silently placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Steve looked at you through the glass and then to Bucky. Finally saying, “Come on Buck, back up and let Tony unthaw her.” 

Bucky hesitantly drew his hand away from the glass, blinking away the tears in his eyes before anyone could see and then Tony immediately started the unthawing process in the cryo chamber. 

Your mind slowly started to wake. Where were you? You couldn't open your eyes quite yet, but you could feel the cold start to subside, as the warmth crept over your skin. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt the warmth, or if you ever had. Cold and darkness was all you knew. The dark was comforting. The endless oblivion held nothing tangible. But the darkness was disappearing and you could finally feel the light hit your eyelids for the first time. 

What life was this? 

How did you come to be? 

You felt your fingers and toes warm enough to be curled. You pulled your palm away from the glass, slowly flexing your fingers. 

Then you heard it, a sound off in the distance, “She’s finally waking bac–” but the voice faded away and you weren’t able to catch the rest. 

You felt your beat heart begin again, your icy veins turning warm once again. Allowing your body to finally wake from its slumber. 

Then the voices came back louder this time, “What’s happening to her?” said one voice

“She’s waking up, her vitals are just now starting to return to normal, but I would be prepared for anything once she fully wakes. We don’t know what state she could be in or what she will do.” 

You felt your hair fall against your face as it finally thawed in the growing warmth. 

Finally daring to see your world, you slowly opened your eyes to expel the darkness that you knew for so long...


	6. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally finds you deep within a HYDRA base.

You blinked multiple times adjusting your eyes to the lights after being in cryo sleep for months. The dim lighting in the chamber basement was even too harsh at first, but you quickly adjusted. Only to look down and see yourself dressed in black scrubs which clung to your body. After examining yourself you looked up to find 6 different people surrounding and staring at you. 

Your body immediately went into defense mode. Your mind scanned the people in front of you, trying to access your new situation. 

Red amour with blasters of some kind, arrows, a shield, a woman with her hand reaching for the gun in her holster, a man in the back with glasses, and another with a metal arm. 

Threats. All armed, except the man in the back, who seemed to be sulking away. 

Tony immediately noticed your shift in mood after you quickly looked everyone up and down, he tried to diffuse the situation before it escalated, reaching out he said, “Y/N right? We are here to help you, if you will let us we can take you home.” 

You gazed snapped back to the man in red armour as he spoke. You looked at him as confusion displayed across your face. 

Home? He was lying. All you knew was the cold and dark. You didn’t have a home. You quizzically looked at him and immediately started plotting your escape. The problem was you didn’t know where you were. You looked around the room again. There. You saw a door at the end of the room, and it was open. But you couldn’t think of how to get past the soldiers in front of you. 

Then the man with the metal arm spoke, “Y/N, do you remember me? It’s me, Bucky. We want to help you.” Another look of confusion passed over your face as he spoke. The name played over in your mind, Bucky. You knew the name but whoever it was didn’t matter in this life. But both the man in red and the one with the metal arm had called you Y/N. 

“Y/N? Who’s Y/N?” you asked. 

The man in red replied, “That’s you. Y/N Y/L/N. You lived in New York and were kidnapped some while ago by HYDRA.” 

Tony instantly knew he made a mistake after he said HYDRA, he could see the look in your eyes changed from confused and scared to dark and menacing. 

HYDRA. The word echoed in your head. HYDRA.  
You knew that name because you _are_ HYDRA. You are the one they made to fulfill their legacy and carry on their ideas for centuries to come. You were the inception. Inception.

You met everyone’s gaze once again but this time you knew who you were and what you had to do. You remembered your mission. 

The shield, Captain America. The woman was Natasha Romanoff, former soviet spy. The arrows, Clint Barton, and finally Iron Man. 

The Avengers. 

HYDRA has been trying to get rid of the Avengers ever since they came to be. This was your chance to do that for them. 

Bucky saw the light flicker out of your eyes, but before he could say anything you lept out of the cryo chamber towards Natasha. Even Natasha’s training couldn’t match your speed. You snatched the gun out of her holster and pinned Natasha against your chest, holding her by the throat, pointing the barrel at her head. 

Bucky knew you wouldn’t hesitate to shoot her. 

Natashas face started turning red, as she clawed at your arm wrapped around her neck. Natasha took her chance and wrapped her leg around yours and fell back pushing you both to the ground. You landed with a thud but immediately rolled away holding the gun and taking aim. 

A shot rang out. But instead of piercing Natasha in the chest it bounced off Steve’s shield. The shell of the bullet falling to the ground. Bucky started towards you, but he saw out of the corner of his vision Clint drew back an arrow and let it fly. 

The arrow pierced your thigh, blood started soaking your pant leg. Instantly you steadied the gun and without looking, shot in the direction the arrow came from. Hearing a wince you were satisfied that you hit your target good enough and proceeded to yank the arrow out of your thigh, letting it drop to the floor. With each heartbeat, more blood pulsated and pooled out of the wound onto your leg, but you didn’t feel anything other than a slight pinch. The pain was unnoticeable.

It all happened too fast for anyone to react. Before anyone knew what to do, you had shot Clint, luckily only piercing his thigh missing any main arteries. Bruce was at his side in an instant tending to his wound, as the rest of the team converged on you. 

“Y/N we aren't here to hurt you, please stop.” Iron Man pleaded with you, the man's face now fully covered in armour. He took a hesitant step towards you, making you train the gun towards him. 

While you were focused on Tony, Natasha stepped towards you grabbing your wrist and twisting, causing you to drop the gun. You immediately kicked your leg out and hooked yours around hers, pushing her into the cement, once she hit the ground you reeled your fist and collided it with her face, knocking her unconscious almost immediately. Your vibranium fist dealer punched harder than she was used too. 

Still kneeling over Natasha, Captain America was on you, reeling his fist, but before the impact, you ducked rolling away, causing his fist to collide with the floor, cracking the cement. Now both Iron Man and Captain America started moving towards you. 

Both moved hesitantly not wanting to hurt you, but they were not sure if that was an option anymore. You ducked the first few punches, but then Tony was able to land a fist on your temple. No pain registered with the punch but the impact made you stumbled back, but quickly retaliated landing a fist on his armour, creating a dent in the suit. 

Tony was in shock. Just your bare fist was able to dent his armour and you didn’t seem to give it a second thought. Out of your perhierpihal the Captain’s shield swung at you. You easily blocked the hit with your forearm, knowing it would be able to take the impact. 

Bucky watched in disbelief as Tony landed a punch on you. You didn’t even flinch or wince out in pain. What had they done to you? 

Bucky stood frozen, watching you dodge and land punches on the two. But with each punch they landed on you, Bucky became more unstable, and less able to control himself. You were starting to lose ground, allowing yourself to get slowly backed into a corner. Bucky ran over and started to intervene, yelling “Alright stop!” 

You took the moment of distraction and confusion between the 3 men to make a break for it. You started running, hearing behind you someone yell, “God damnit!” 

“We can’t let her get away!”

But the men quickly made ground on you with Bucky cutting your path to the door first. You both paused looking at each other. He stared into your eyes, hoping to see Y/N behind them and not just the soldier. Finally he pleaded with you, “Y/N, please don’t make me do this.” 

But before he could finish you started throwing more punches at him, but he blocked them easily. Between punches he said, “Y/N it’s me, Bucky, please, we aren’t trying to hurt you,” But you got more relentless and wouldn’t stop. 

Bucky felt the soldier rise within himself. Unable to stop it, he finally started throwing punches back. He was able to land most of them, knowing your fighting style from working together in the past only this time he used it to his advantage. 

His anger towards you clouded his judgement and his punches became more relentless, you finally stumbled to the ground, unable to keep up. As soon as you were on the ground, he got on top of you, pinning you underneath him. 

He was easily twice your size, and his weight pressing down made you unable to move. Fear filled your eyes as you looked up at the man on top of you. Right as you made eye contact, his metal hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter by the second.

Gasping, the real Y/N came back, allowing you to think clearly once again. Off in the distance you heard Steve yelling, “Buck! Stop it! You're going to kill her!” But the voice faded away.

Bucky wouldn’t stop. You clawed at his arm trying to free yourself from his grip. His Rage blinded him as he gripped you tighter.

Steve was trying to pull Bucky off of you, but his grip stayed firm on your neck. And with your last breath, you barely whispered, “Bucky plea–” but then the black consumed you once again. 

The words grazed the Winter Soldier’s ears, making Bucky snap out of it. But it was too late. Your body went limp as he finally released his hand from your throat. Bucky saw the black and red bruising starting to bloom across your neck, as he realized what he had just done. 

Tears started to fall from his eyes, and dripped beneath him. His real hand grazed your cheek as he pleaded, “Oh God, Y/N please wake up,” He looked frantically at Steve, “Get Bruce, please! She needs help!” His voice was shaking as he yelled to Steve.

Looking back down at you he continued to caress your face, hoping you would wake up, “Please, please Y/N, I need you to wake up,” 

Bruce was at your side in an instant, he grabbed your wrist and felt for a pulse. It was faint, but there was one. “She has a pulse, but we need to get her back to the compound now.” 

“You think she’ll wake up?” Bucky asked

“I think so, but I’m not so sure she’s going to want to see you.” 

Bucky slipped his arms under your legs and head anyway, picking you up to carry you to the jet. 

After everyone boarded the jet, Bucky laid you down on a medical bed. The pit grew in his stomach everytime he looked at you. He couldn’t believe he let himself hurt you. 

He stayed by your bed side the entire flight, watching your chest rise and fall. 

He still couldn’t believe they finally found you.


	7. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N is finally taken back to the compound.

Bucky returned to your side after talking to Steve, right before the quinjet was set to land at the compound. After laying his eyes on you, Bucky couldn’t believe what he saw. 

Before he left you, you were lying unconscious on the medical bed with a blanket pulled under your arms. But all Bucky could see now was a shimmering, golden light where you were laying before. The golden light flowed around your body, encasing you completely. 

Bucky rushed to your side immediately, confusion and panic crashed over him in waves, as he tried to think of an explanation for what was happening. He could barely see you through the light as it consumed you more and more. He could barely see your face, you were still asleep on the bed peacefully. Bucky thought you looked more relaxed and healthy than you did before. 

Bruce walked over to where Bucky was and after setting his eyes on the bed where you were laying, he immediately gushed out, “Oh my god, what is happening? What did you do to her?” 

Bucky looked back at Bruce as he walked over to your bed to examine you, “I didn’t do anything, I left for a second and when I came back she was like this.” 

Bruce became lost in his thoughts as he looked over the light and then back to your vital signs. “Whatever is happening seems to be making her better than before, her vitals have returned to normal,” Bruce couldn’t help but be fascinated. 

“Do you know what HYDRA did to her when you guys served under HYDRA together?” Bruce questioned Bucky, now staring him down. 

“No, I have no idea what they did other than a few surgeries to replace some broken bones.” Bucky felt a pang of sadness as he remembered the long nights spent awake in his room unable to fall asleep because of your screams were seeping through his walls into his room. 

He was never able to find out specifically what they had done to you all those nights, but the following mornings you were always in a medical bed with stitches and bandages running the lengths down your body. His heart panged as he thought of you being in that state. 

The moment the jet landed, Bruce and Bucky wheeled you into the elevator to head to the medical facility. The entire time walking there, the golden light never faltered. It shimmered around you in steady streams of light.

After transferring you onto a new bed, Bruce started to check your vitals again and prepare you for an x-ray. Once the scan was complete, Bruce’s mouth dropped open as he saw the results on the screen. 

Barely any limb in your body was organic, every bone was replaced by something metal and then reinforced with even more. He was surprised you were even able to survive the procedures you had probably gone through. 

Bucky got a glimpse of your x-ray over Bruce's shoulder and couldn’t believe what he saw either. You were truly HYDRAs experiment, every metal bone, plate and joint shined a different color in the scan. Barely anything was left of the real you. Bucky couldn’t stand to look at the picture anymore and glanced back up at you laying on the bed. 

The light was now fading away and he could finally see you clearly again. But you still were asleep, not even twitching as the light slowly faded out around you. Then Tony bursts in the door, Bucky turns around right as Tony lays eyes on you and the shimmering light, “What in the hell is that? Bruce have you seen this?” Tony stepped closer and examined the light. 

“Yeah, she seems to be producing it organically somehow, but her scans show something even more interesting. Come and see this Tony.” Bruce waves Tony over to the monitor he is staring at. Once Tony reaches the monitor his jaw drops. 

“I have never seen anything like this, what is the extent of the material within her body? What even is it?” Tony asks. 

Bruce replies, “I’m thinking it’s vibranium, but the extent of it inside of her is unknown, I’d need to do more scans.” 

“Hey, do you know anything about this?” Tony says to Bucky from across the room while he gestures towards the monitor displaying everything. 

“I only know that it is HYDRA’s doing.” Bucky turned back to look down at you lying on the bed. What had they done to you? He could only imagine all the pain you had been in all those nights he had heard you screaming. 

Bucky was snapped out of his thoughts as Tony stepped up across from him saying, “We need to get her to wake up, maybe Y/N will have the answers we are looking for.” 

Tony hesitantly sets his hand on your shoulder giving it a slight shake as he softly says, “Y/N, Y/N, it’s time to wake up, it’s okay.” Underneath his grip you don’t show any sign of waking. He continued on for a minute before finally giving up. 

“Maybe we should just let her rest for now and wait till she wakes up.” Bruce exclaims from across the room. 

“Fine.” Tony removed his hand, “FRIDAY, notify me immediately whenever Y/N wakes up.” Then Tony walks out. 

Bucky looks down at you resting peacefully and reluctantly decides to leave for his room for a well needed shower and change of clothes. He can’t get the mildew smell of HYDRA off him soon enough. 

As Bucky steps out of the shower, FRIDAY comes over the speaker, “Mr. Stark has told me to notify you that Y/N has just awoken.” He was surprised, you woke quickly even after all that happened. He couldn’t wait to finally talk to you, he hoped you would remember him and that things wouldn’t end as badly this time. He quickly pulled on a black shirt and pants, running his fingers through his damp hair as he took one last glance into the mirror, before heading towards the lab.


	8. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have finally woken up in the compound and discussions about who you were start.

The second Bucky burst through the lab door he could sense something was wrong. He couldn’t see you, but Tony was hovering over your bed as the glove from his iron man suit flew onto his hand from across the room, narrowly missing Bucky on its way over. 

“Please stay calm Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you.” Tony pleaded with you. 

“Then let me go! Let me go!” you screamed back at Tony while you tugged your wrists tugged at the constraints that strapped you down to the bed leaving you immobile.

“I don’t need your help!” your voice cracked as you screamed in Tony’s face again.

Bucky hesitantly moved towards the bed, eyeing Bruce in the corner who was keeping a safe distance but watching the interaction between you and Tony tentatively. Once Bucky stepped into your line of sight, he knew he made a mistake. 

The second you saw Bucky, the man who strangled you, panic overtook you. You looked down at your shackled arms and started frantically pulling and yanking at them, hoping they might budge. Tony’s voice faded into the background. All you could focus on was Bucky walking towards you and the restraints that kept you from getting away. 

Once Tony saw the panicked expression on your face he knew that letting Bucky in to see you so soon was a mistake. Tony whipped around staring directly at him, “You need to leave, NOW.” Tony yelled at Bucky while pointing at the lab door he had only just came through. 

Bucky saw the terror in your eyes and you struggling relentlessly at the restraints and reluctantly decided to head towards the exit. He didn’t even get to talk to you let alone step foot near you. As he made his way to the door Bruce stopped him, “Don’t worry, she’ll come around eventually, she’s just in shock right now. The Y/N you knew is somewhere in there.” Bucky met Bruce’s eyes and saw the sincerity they held. 

“I know. It’s just difficult, I’ve waited so long for this but now all she sees in me is the person I no longer am and she can’t even stand the sight of me.” Bucky’s shoulders dropped in defeat. He felt the sadness creeping through him. He couldn’t live with himself for what he had done to you, and you not being able to stand the sight of him made it even worse.

As Bucky stepped out the door of the lab, he looked back to where you were laying hoping to see you. All he saw was Tony trying to talk you down and you pulling at the restraints.

Tony kept trying to reason with you, “Y/N please, just listen to what I have to say, everything will be okay.” 

“It will be okay once you untie me so I can get away from here!” 

“I can’t untie you. I can’t have you run out of here and have you potentially hurt yourself even more.” Tony glanced down at the restraints on your wrists, you had been pulling so hard on them they had begun digging and breaking your skin. Your blood was starting to turn the straps red. 

“Banner, I need your help over here!” 

Bruce quickly walked up to your bed side and sat down in a chair, “Y/N, if you talk to us and answer our questions, we can begin to discuss letting you go.” 

You considered the Doctor for a second and after deeming him trustworthy you finally said, “Now that’s more like it. You could learn something from him.” You said while glaring at Tony. 

“First question, Do you know who you are?” 

“I don’t remember much of who I was before I was put on the ice, but I know my name is Y/N since that is what everyone is calling me and that I work for HYDRA. But everything else I try to remember is blurry, it’s there I just can’t see any of it, it's just a blur with only a few things showing through the cracks.” 

“You are right. Your name is Y/N, but you don’t work for HYDRA anymore. They are the ones that wiped your memories and put you on the ice. They took you from your home awhile back from here in New York, but you had worked with them before that too. We don’t know anymore than that about you.” 

“Bucky, that man that came in here. Why is he here? He is not a part of any of the files on the Avengers that I remember.” 

“That’s because he wasn’t a part of the team since just recently.” Tony interjected, you could tell there were sour feelings between Iron Man and Bucky. 

Bruce gave Tony a glance across the bed and said, “I’m surprised you don’t remember, he used to work for HYDRA alongside you. He was the Winter Soldier.” 

The Winter Soldier. 

Images flashed in your mind. Pain crept into your mind as you remembered bits and pieces. 

_The rooftop. The motorcycle. His blue eyes. Him saying your name. Y/N._

You grabbed your temples as more and more memories came flooding back. 

_The Winter Soldier standing in front of you. He was taking orders from the men in lab coats. “Do what you have to do.” Then the Soldier turned around and stepped forwards towards you. You flinched at his quick movements but he was too quick for you to counteract. He grabbed your throat with his metal hand, picking you up and slamming you down on the concrete._

_The HYDRA tests. They had to test their new super soldier, see the limits your body had. The Winter Soldier thought he was dealing out a punishment, but he was doing the testing._

_No better way to test you than to pit you against their best soldier._

Tony’s voice was seeping through your memory, “Y/N, Are you okay? It’s alright Y/N, you're safe here.” Tony tentatively rested his hand on yours, finally grounding you back into reality. 

You were panting, the pain that was searing in your mind was starting to subside. “I’m fine. Just a memory.” You looked up at Bruce and Tony who both had worried expressions across their face. 

“Maybe it’s time to end the questions for now, get some rest and we’ll be back.” Bruce finally said.

“Can you at least loosen these,” you said, eyeing your restraints, “I promise I won’t leave. I don’t really have any place I know of to go.” Bruce and Tony glanced at each other, Tony then finally unstrapped your wrists and ankles from the bed. 

“Promise you won’t run away? We have a lot more questions to ask you.” Tony said. 

“I promise.” 

And with that Tony and Bruce left the room, dimming the lights so you could get some rest. Before splitting down the hall, Bruce pulled Tony aside, “We have to make sure Bucky does not see her for a while. It could be bad for the both of them.” 

“Agreed, and I’ll also talk to Thor when he returns about not telling reindeer games about her either. We don’t need him snooping around her either, who knows what mind tricks he’d play with her.”


End file.
